Tears from the Moon
by Jess J
Summary: Underworld songfic, Lucian centered. Set centuries before the movie takes place, Lucian remembers his beloved and fire that fuels the war. Please r&r!


Author's note: Ok, I haven't seen the movie yet, but I read the Underworld novelization, so I know what happens pretty much. This is a Lucian songfic set before the movie takes place, so if you don't now what happened to him, you probably won't get it. Also, I have a different version of this song, Tears from the Moon, by Sinead O'Connor. It's from the Tomb Raider 2 soundtrack, with some of the lyrics cut out. I used the lyrics I know, because if I had all the original lyrics, it wouldn't go. But the lyrics at the very beginning, then the last chorus with a slight change, those lyrics are from the regular version. But they fit, so I used them. But overall, it's set to the Tomb Raider 2 mix. Anyway, please review and be nice even if you don't like it. But I'm open for constructive criticism.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lucian, Sonja, or any other characters mentioned. If I did, Lucian and Sonja would have lived happily ever after, but they didn't. Bugger. Anyway, please don't sue me, and bring Lucian back for the past part of the sequel!!!

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TEARS FROM THE MOON 

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_I feel something falling from the sky  
I'm so sad I made the angels cry_

Lucian leaned against the wall, staring up at the full moon. She held no sway over him now, but her silvery light that bathed him was comforting, the only comfort he had at the moment. He listened to the distant sounds of night life in the nearby forest.

His hand reached up, stroking the pendant as if he were stroking her. His eyes closed in painful memory and unwanted images flooded his mind. But he opened his eyes and willed the memories back. He focused on the pain in his arm, where his mark had recently been cut from him.

Better to feel that pain than the pain in his heart.

"Sonja," he whispered to himself. He could still see her pristine face, he could remember the slightest swell of her stomach as she carried their child. He wondered what the child would have looked like. Would it have had her eyes or his? Boy or a girl? What would they have named it?

_Stop it!! Stop it, stop it now!!_

He clenched his fists. He couldn't bare to think of all the things that were stolen from him, not tonight. Could he not have one night's peace of mind? One night without his painful past breaking into his thoughts was all he asked for.

He silently prayed that it would not hurt like this for the rest of his lonely life. After all, it had only been seven years, though it felt like it had been forever it just yesterday sometimes.

He heard the growls of fighting lycans, but he ignored it. Let them have their fun. He was in no mood for breaking up any fights tonight. Tonight he needed to forget.

Glancing at the wound in his arm, he tried to console himself with the fact that his plan had now been put into motion. But how long would it take for it to come to completion he had to wonder. How long must he wait for his vengeance?

"I wish you were here, my love," he spoke again to the night. To the moon. His only comfort as he tried to rest in his room of the castle ruins they had been forced to hide in.

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It just ain't fair this thing called loving  
When one step there and the other feels nothing  
I would have done anything for you  
I still love you, baby I adore you  


A sigh, mournful and deep, escaped his lips and he walked over to the small makeshift bed on the floor. He had to be strong. For his people. For her. He had to sleep. He had gone far too long without resting, now it was finally time for him to do so.

He laid down, his eyes still gazing at the moon's rising form. The snarls and growls of his fellow lycans had died down, they had probably moved farther down the ruins so as not to disturb their leader. Wise decision.

As the newfound quiet settled around him, he closed his eyes. He saw her face yet again. This time smiling as she rested her head on his chest. He could still remember the feel of her skin under his fingertips, the scent of her hair as its silken strands brushed against his skin.

Lucian felt his eyes burn from the tears that threatened to fall for his beloved. He swiftly wiped them and turned over. He had to forget, just tonight. He had to sleep.

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All day I keep from falling apart  
But at night when the sky gets dark  


He could feel her beside him. Her smooth, alabaster skin pressed against his rougher flesh. Her hand and head lie across his torso, her fingers idly playing with the ends of his hair. He felt his hand entangled in her hair, the soft, dark tresses weaved through fingers.

"Sonja," he breathed, but dared not to open his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, clutching her small, graceful frame against his body.

"My love?" he heard her delicate voice question and he finally opened his eyes.

He was alone. He reached across his bed, like a blind man searching for his guide. Like a dying man desperate for breath, for help.

But he was alone, bathed in the pale glow of the moon.

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Tears from the moon  
Fall down like rain  
I reach for you  
I reach in vain  


He fought back the urge to scream and to howl in his pain and rage. He cursed Viktor and his council and the Death Dealers for what could not be any less than the millionth time for stealing his beloved and their child, for massacring his family. For enslaving his people, for punishing them for a so-called crime they didn't even commit.

He rose from the bed on the floor and walked to the window. He looked out at the forest. He could hear the others again, still far off but not as far as they had been. He stalked out of the room. He needed to walk, clear his mind.

He reached up once again to the pendant that hung from his neck, clasping the cold metal tightly. As he had done with her.

Her voice echoed in his mind, their forbidden trysts replaying once again. She always had haunted him most during the full moon. She had died the day before a full moon; he had escaped with the help of the full moon.

He ignored glances and stares thrown his way before those eyes quickly turned away. They had seen their leader in this mood before. They knew the consequences of troubling him while suffering through his moods and wisely kept their distance.

The young ones knew something pained him deep within his core, it was obvious. The others, those who had lived as slaves, knew to let him be at the full moon, or whenever he seemed to be in mourning once again. They wisely had directed the younger lycans to do the same. But they never told his tale. It was forbidden for it to be known.

He did not want their pity. He did not want their eyes to stare at him with sorrow for his loss or revulsion for his past with a vampire princess. He had their loyalty and respect, and he wanted nothing more.

Just as his origins were forbidden territory, so was contact with vampires, unless in battle. He did not want any other to suffer what he suffered. And he could not afford the situation it would cause.

He came to an abandoned, cavernous room and decided to stop for a few moments. Moonlight filtered in through windows higher up in the walls, cracks in the rocks that made up the decaying structure. He held the pendant up, letting the silvery light cause the metal to shimmer and sparkle.

She had done this before. One night, she had taken it off, letting it dangle in the light of the half moon. It had reflected back onto her face, and Lucian remembered the taste of her cheeks as he kissed her where the light had shown.

He should have been doing that tonight. He should be holding her, not mourning her, fighting back tears for her death! At her own father's hands no less!!

He heard her shrieks of pain, he remembered the shout he had barely managed to cry out, his throat and mouth had been so parched. How he had longed to save her, to tell her he loved her. He would always love her.

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Couldn't sleep so I went out walking  
Thinking about you and hearing us talking  
And all the things I should have said  
Echo now, inside my head

"WHY!!" he shouted. "Why did you have to take her away, why did you have to kill them?!" he questioned. "Why couldn't you simply take my life, punish me?"

Lucian knew the answer. Viktor feared the child that would have been of his own flesh and blood, his own grandchild. He feared the mixing of the breeds. He loathed it as well. He of course feared it, for Lucian and Sonja's offspring would have all of the strengths of its parents most likely. But he couldn't bare the thought that his daughter would give birth to the child of a lycan.

A slave, a pet, an animal. That's all he and his kind were to the vampires, and now they were a breed that needed to be wiped out. And the Death Dealers were more than happy to carry out that order.

But he had still found one, the one he had been waiting for. A Death Dealer he could manipulate, use to his advantage. Finally, he had a mole, and his plan would be set in motion. The moment of his victory was still far away, in the distant and uncertain future, but he would survive. He would persevere. He would see this conflict end. He had to.

For her. His beloved deserved that retribution. He and his kind deserved it. And he would allow nothing to stand in his way.

"I will see your death avenged, Beloved. I vow to you, I will make Viktor and the others pay for what they did to us."

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All day I keep from falling apart  
But at night when the sky gets dark

The howl of a wolf, a true wolf, echoed in the distance. Several more followed it, and Lucian approached one of the lower windows. He gazed out, and silhouetted by the moon's glow, he could see a small pack of wolves hunting in the forest.

He smiled softly. Their cries in the night were comforting as well. He envied them sometimes. Their ability to run wild through the trees, to be free of the vampires that hunted him and his kind. Their ability to mate with only one of their kind, without having to hide.

Even if they were hunted by the humans, they were left alone by the vampires. Mortal men did not hold as much threat to them as the vampires did to Lucian and the other lycans.

"How it must feel to run free," he mused aloud. He turned, ready to go back and try to sleep yet again. It would be light soon and all the others would be heading off to sleep as well.

His eyes still burned. He still felt tears, unshed yet ready to fall. He slipped past the raucous crowd of mostly changed werewolves and a few still in human form. Silently he entered his chamber, stepping over to the blankets and pillows that made up his bed for the time being.

"Let me sleep," he asked the moon. "Let me sleep in peace tonight." He laid his head down as he once again begged the moon to let him have rest.

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It just ain't fair this thing called loving  
When one step there and the other feels nothing  
I would have done anything for you  
I still love you, baby I adore you  


Lucian felt one of the small drops of water fall from his eye as he closed both of them. He didn't even try to wipe it away this time. There was no use. He again prayed to the moon, this time with a different request.

"Please, give me my dreams," he whispered. "They're all I have of her. I'd rather be haunted than to have nothing at all. Give me my dreams, this pendant isn't enough."

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Tears from the moon  
Fall down like rain  
I reach for you  
I reach in vain  


Tears from the moon  
Fall down like rain   
but tears from the moon  
can't wash away the pain  



End file.
